Se habla mucho de la brecha salarial, pero no lo suficiente de la brecha orgásmica, la disparidad estadística en la frecuencia de los orgasmos entre hombres y mujeres. ¿Nos acompañas en este desarrollo de hoy?
¿Cómo pueden ser los orgasmos en los hombres y en las mujeres?
Los hombres dan por hecho que pueden tener orgasmos siempre o casi siempre. Según las estadísticas: un hombre heterosexual alcanza el clímax 95% de las veces que mantiene una relación sexual, mientras que las mujeres sólo lo consiguen un 65% de esas veces.
Brecha orgásmica
No hay una causa única tras esta brecha orgásmica. Incluyen una variedad de factores y muchas veces, combinados: la anatomía propia de cada género, biología cerebral y hormonal, la educación y hasta la cultura.
La forma en que cada uno de los géneros experimenta el sexo, es distinta. Aunque la respuesta sexual humana es fisiológicamente muy similar, los detonadores del deseo en las mujeres, por ejemplo, son más emocionales que mentales, como ocurre con los hombres.
El factor psicológico juega un papel diferente y más importante en las mujeres, de acuerdo con los estudios de la afamada sexóloga Rosemary Basson, quien propone una nueva conceptualización de la respuesta sexual femenina.
Según Basson, en la práctica, la respuesta de la mujer en realidad es “circular”, no lineal, como siempre se ha dado por hecho.
Los varones pasan del deseo a la excitación y de allí al orgasmo. “En las mujeres, esa progresión sexual es circular. Las fases se sobreponen unas a otras en un orden que varía, según las circunstancias, que vive y experimenta en cada situación”, afirma Basson.
El modelo de respuesta sexual femenina de Basson propone que el deseo significa cosas muy diferentes para las mujeres. El deseo de la mujer no es necesariamente el comienzo de la respuesta sexual, si no que “la respuesta sexual femenina comienza con un período de intimidad con su pareja y luego de la excitación, le sigue recién la fase del deseo sexual.”
Este modelo biopsicosocial establece un mecanismo de retroalimentación en el que participan factores emocionales, físicos y cognitivos. En las mujeres puede activarse el deseo y la necesidad de tener actividad sexual (“deseo espontáneo”), siempre y cuando el nivel de los estímulos sea lo suficientemente “intenso y, sobre todo, significativo.”
Sexualidad femenina
En la sexualidad femenina, juega un papel importante la subjetividad, donde la percepción de intimidad, los vínculos afectivos, la autoestima, las emociones, la comunicación y la asertividad sexual, determinan el nivel de deseo, excitación, placer y sensación de gratificación y bienestar.
La satisfacción entonces es física y emocional, independientemente de la presencia de orgasmo. Si quieres leer más sigue aquí: Orgasmo masculino y femenino, ¿son iguales?
Por otro lado, la educación sexual es otro factor que abre una brecha orgásmica. Aún cuando hoy en día tenemos mucha más apertura e información al respecto de la sexualidad, siguen existiendo muchos mitos y falsas creencias acerca del sexo.
En EE UU, por ejemplo, sólo 13 de 50 estados exigen que la educación sexual impartida en las escuelas sea médicamente correcta, lo que significa que muchos jóvenes llegan a la madurez con información errónea sobre el sexo y desconociendo algunas de las características básicas de su anatomía -propia y del sexo opuesto-.
Las representaciones del amor y del sexo en la cultura tampoco ayudan, más bien contribuyen a expandir esta percepción errónea de la manera en la que hombres y mujeres deberían esperar mantener relaciones sexuales.
Creencias como que son los hombres los que “seducen” y las mujeres las que han de “ser seducidas”; que mujeres y hombres tienen orgasmos simultáneos y además deben conseguirlo a través del coito; que el sexo termina cuando el hombre alcanza el clímax y que es normal que una mujer finja su excitación e incluso su orgasmo para acompasar el placer masculino. Y otra larga lista de mitos.
Convendría preguntar, en favor de tener una vida sexual más equitativa -y satisfactoria- ¿realmente es algo que desean cambiar los hombres?
En este blog estamos convencidos de que sí, los hombres están dispuestos a convertirse en otra clase de hombres y mejores compañeros sexuales.
Si a esta falta de rigor educativo en la sexualidad y la representación fallida de la sexualidad en la cultura, añadimos los traumas personales adquiridos a lo largo de la experiencia vital, tendremos el clima perfecto para abrir una brecha en el orgasmo.
No todo el sexo es orgasmo
El orgasmo no debería ser la única meta de nuestros encuentros sexuales. Tener un orgasmo es una métrica más con la que podemos medir el placer. No alcanzarlo o tener dificultades para hacerlo, no es nada de lo que avergonzarse.
El orgasmo no es un requisito indispensable para considerar placentero un encuentro sexual. Sin embargo, debemos tener claro que tu placer es tan prioritario para ti como para tu pareja, aunque cada uno sea responsable de su orgasmo. Si quieres ampliar el tema del placer sigue aquí: Placer sexual: ¿para qué sirve el orgasmo?
El sexo también es cuidar del otro, vivir una experiencia compartida en la que ambos recibamos y demos placer.
Tal vez los hombres puedan caer en la tentación de pensar que si las mujeres tienen menos orgasmos es por sus diferencias anatómicas y/o psicológicas y ellos no tienen nada que ver con eso. Pero las estadísticas sugieren otra cosa.
De acuerdo con datos duros, las mujeres, lesbianas pueden alcanzar el orgasmo más fácilmente que con compañeros varones. Se estima que cerca del 20% de las mujeres se consideran “desatendidas sexualmente”.
Lo anterior sugiere que la brecha orgásmica puede estar siendo causada por una falta de comunicación o entendimiento entre los sexos o por la ignorancia sobre la anatomía femenina por parte de los hombres.
Satisfacer a la pareja es sumamente importante para el hombre, le hace sentir seguro de sí mismo e incrementa la excitación. ¿Qué hombre no disfruta de ver a una mujer teniendo un orgasmo gracias a él?
Conclusiones
En resumen, la comunicación parece ser la clave. Hagamos a un lado el pudor de conversar sobre sexo fuera del dormitorio. Hagamos acuerdos sexuales y sintámonos libres de pedir y preguntar.
Si no estás acostumbrado a hablar sobre tu sexualidad y sobre todo, dispuesto a aprender, será difícil llegar a una equidad sexual que al final, sólo nos puede brindar más placer.
No es fácil reconocer la vulnerabilidad o el desconocimiento, lo sabemos. Pero para eso está la asesoría sexológica que te pueden dar los expertos en salud sexual masculina.
Cerrar la brecha del orgasmo es responsabilidad de ambos. Desconfíen de las idealizaciones del placer representadas por el cine o por el porno, tanto como del ideal de amor romántico que nos vendían las novelas del siglo XIX.
Cuanto más conscientes estemos acerca de las diferencias en que percibimos y recibimos el sexo hombres y mujeres, cuanto más hablemos de ello, más cerca estaremos de una cultura de placer que reparta placer igualmente para todos.
¡Gracias por tu lectura!
Artículo avalado por Héctor Corredor, Médico Cirujano especialista en Urología con Maestría en Sexología Clínica, Director médico internacional en Boston Medical Group.
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